(If you're not over 50, this is what you have to look forward to)
1. Kidnappers are not very
1. Kidnappers are not very
interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
4. People call at 9 pm and ask, "Did I wake you???"
5. People no longer view you
as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to
learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't
wear out.
8 You can eat dinner at 4 pm.
9. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
10. You no longer think of
speed limits as challenges.
11. You quit trying to hold
your stomach in no matter
who walks into the room.
12. You sing along with
elevator music.
13. Your eyes won't get
much worse.
14. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
15. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
16. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either
17. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
18. You can't remember
who sent you this list!
And you notice these are
all in Big Print for your convenience.
