Church Discipline Part 2 - A case study

A pastor sent me this regarding a member in his congregation. Since we were talking about church discipline he thought this might be a helpful illustration. Apparently two women in the church were having some serious issues. One of the women was a friend of and former employee of the other woman. It seems that over the years the number of issues and grievances started to add up. And they even ended up going to and serving in the church he pastored. Finally things got to a breaking point and the one lady approached the other in a Matthew 18:15 context. This pastor said that everything was done in a Biblical manner but the lady who was approached did not listen or hear. After continued non hearing the lady was then approach by and elder team. Unfortunately according to this pastor she was still unwilling to hear.

Here was the list of problems that the one lady had with the other lady in the church. Are these issues significant to the point if the lady doesn't listen then she needs to be subjected to discipline?

1. Jane Smedley seems to be uncontrollably drawn to be critical of others, their work and persons, even when their efforts are related to the kingdom. She is constantly critical of those in her inner circle and seems to look for the negative.

2. Jane Smedley's actions & words convey the attitude that her time is worth more than others. She implies that with her communication to others on a regular basis.

3. Jane Smedley will not admit failure or being wrong. She has an issue with pride.

4. Jane Smedley will often manipulate people, events and organizations to get exactly what she wants the way she wants it! It is Jane's way or the highway.

5. There is no negotiation with Jane. You are either totally with her or against her. And trust me you don't want to be against her.

6. Jane Smedley will only permit and validate only those facts that support her conclusions.

7. Once Jane Smedley locks and loads on an issue, there is no other way unlock and unload her. Woe to the person who tries.

8. Jane Smedley will without hesitation forcefully point out a weakness in others. But in all the years around her I have heard only once she admitted to a flaw in herself.

9. Jane Smedley has been quick to point out to others the need to get professional help but she shows symptoms – such as outbursts of anger, compulsive behavior etc. and refuses to acknowledge that she needs help at all.

10. Jane Smedley is verbally and mentally abusive of others in her sphere of influence. And she often justifies it by saying things like they don’t understand her “gift”.

11. Jane Smedley is so forceful in all her dealings that a disagreement brings an immediate rebuke and often a severing of relationships.

12. Jane Smedley strongly proclaims that God’s plan for the Christian is for each person to get into intimate community. We must according to Jane “get in each others lives”. Yet she has never, to my knowledge, confessed any weakness or offense or need of repentance to anyone – in the church, small group or out.

13. Jane readily admits that she has a difficult time with others in a position of authority. She presently is not submitting in her own church to leadership regarding several issues and those around her are being impacted in a negative way.

Upon talking to this pastor he confirmed that these points about Jane were in true and not overstated nor exaggerations. How is leadership to respond when these types of grievances are occurring between parties in the church?

Now it is time to take a poll - are you ready?