Couples I met as a senior pastor - who are you?

When you pastor a small church for a period of four years you meet all kinds of people within the body of Christ. They tend to fall in one of two categories:
1. Those who model a Biblical example within the church
2. Those who model a non-Biblical example within the church

Jesus teaches on the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 7:13 through the end of the chapter that you are either one or the other. For example there is the wide gate or the narrow gate, the good tree or the bad tree, the house built on sand and house built on rock.

Therefore I am giving examples of actual people I met and even keep journal about in my days as a pastor. Since many of my conversations have been written down I again am hoping to one day write a book on this four year period of my life. The book "When a small church closes" will focus on how to help others avoid the problems and pitfalls of a start up church. The names will be changed but the conversations and things I write will come from actual experiences with those in the church.

Again in this list the names have been changed but there are real people described in each of these types that you will read about in this article. My question is who are you or more important who do others think you are? Why not show them this list and get them to reveal which one best describes you!

Gary and Genny Genuine - This couple has no pretense, masks or trying to be something they are not, just the real thing. People know when you get around this couple that what you see is what you get and what you see and get you like.

Abe and Abegail Agenda - They may look sweet and docile but they are like ducks going around the water at your local lake. Everything looks good on the surface but underneath they are kicking up a storm. Normally they are older and rigid in the ways church should be done. Their motto becomes "have it my way."

Earl and Ester Edify - This couple knows the importance of building others up in the body of Christ. They are natural encouragers and seem to always have the right thing to say at the right time that brings honor and glory to Christ.

Harry and Henrietta Hypocrite - they look good, sing, teach and even hand out cookies on Sunday but they are not genuine. They gossip, tell about how they did things in there former church and even question if leadership is capable. They end up in leadership and sometimes in small groups to the point that they when they get mad and finally leave others go with them.
Their motto is "we are looking good, smelling good and talking good but we just aren't living good."

Paul and Pauleen Post Modern - this couple thinks we need to find out what music draws the crowd, especially the young crowd and then provide it. They think we have too much preaching and sermons should be short motivational stories that make people feel good. Paul and Pauleen are in to comfort without any conviction. Their motto is "we don't need more conversions in the church we just need to have some good conversations."

Charlie and Coleen Critical - It doesn't matter how you do it or what you do they will find a way to criticize it. A pastor told me that a couple approached him with a problem in the church. He listened and suggested that it might be the very thing that God was leading them to do. They got upset with his answer and said "if that is the best you can come up with then we are going to leave the church." Their motto is "why be part of the solution when you can continue pointing out the problem."

Sam and Sally Servant - this couple lives to give themselves to others. It is a joy to watch them take the initiative to bring a meal, cut grass for an elderly couple or take young children to school for a single mom who is sick.

Ned and Nellie Non-Biblical - this couple when approached about not using their gifts, reading the Bible, or leaving over the color of the carpet use experience and feelings instead of going to the word of God. If they don't feel it then they just don't do it. If you ask, can you support this kind thinking or action based on the Bible they will say things like "not really." Their motto "we don't know what it means but that's ok because it can mean what we want it to mean-right?"

Larry and Lea Leader - this couple has the gift of leading in a way that people want to follow. They are gentle and kind, but if necessary can be firm and bold when it comes to providing Biblical leadership for others in the group.

Ben and Bonita Been-Around - This couple looks the part except they have been to 12 other churches over the years. Upon talking to this couple each church they left has been somewhat off in doctrine, method of understanding of this couples skill and abilities. Their motto "we leave right before church discipline can arrive."

Earl and Edie Expert - This couple lives by the statement "if we want your opinion then we will give it to you." They know what to do and how to do it. Some of the things they share and implement have been on their minds for years and years. And now that the group is gathered and they are the so-called experts the attitude comes out my way or the highway. However sometimes enough is enough, and if challenged they will take their ball and go home! Their motto "it's not as easy as it looks to always be right."

Ted and Thelma Teflon - whenever they are approached regarding problems they have caused you can be sure that nothing sticks to them. Their motto "we didn't do anything wrong, just ask us."

Dick and Darlene Deflective - this couple has the extraordinary ability to put everything back on those that come in contact with them. The strategy is not to deal with the problem but deflect it away from themselves. By the way they are first cousins of Ted and Thelma Teflon. You might hear statements like the following "of course we would join small groups if the leadership team would stop having people in them." Their motto "take it easy greasy because the problem your trying to lay on me has got a long way to slide."

Pedro and Patsy Positive - this couple is always a ray of sunshine when they show up to any church function. They always look for and find the good from each situation into which they are placed. Others find it easy to be around their good nature and positive attitude.

Mack and Mabel Mono-ministry - they take a ministry and own it, do it and build a fence so high around it that it would take an act of congress to get into it! When Mack and Mabel show up they dominate and dictate their own ministry area. There is no Timothy support or back up plan. And if others offer. Their motto for others who want to involve themselves in their ministry "do not go away mad, just go away."

Henry and Henrietta Humble - this couple finds it very easy to yield to, submit and follow church leadership in their mission and vision. Even though they are wise and have much church experience they never let their "egos" get in the way of their ministry. They are constantly promoting unity and highly respectful of the way the Lord uses different gifts to have His name exalted.

Sammy and Sandy Snitch - this couple comes to attend but really never joins. However they call and meet with pastor in order to give inside information on some of the problem people. Their motto "maybe this pastor will confront them on the sin that we are too intimidated to discuss with our family member, friend or co-worker."

Fred and Farrah Flexible - this couple believes in being part of the team and are adaptable in almost in church situation. They never say things like "in our former church we did it this way." Because they understand with different churches, people, personalities and plans that things may in fact change along the way. Their lack of rigidity and narrow thinking makes it easy to be associated and involved with them in ministry.

Grant and Gertrude Grumpy - it doesn't matter what you preach, teach, or what you do, this couple finds a way to be and stay unhappy. Their motto is "of course we are happy just look at our face."

Barry and Beverly Biblical - this couple loves to teach the Bible and they really live the Bible. They are totally supportive and part of the leaderships vision to get people back in the word and get the word back in the people. Barry is a great teach and Beverly is a key supporter and encourager of her husband but also of others in the church. They love doctrine and have suggested "Bible Doctrine" by Wayne Grudem as a good starting point for most Christians. When they were first handed the book in a leadership meeting they took it, read and digested it because leadership had made decision to teach Biblical doctrine to the congregation. It was their leadership in this area they helped many come along to recognize how deficient they were in really understanding their Bibles.

Asa and Anna Apologetic - this couple loves to defend the faith. However they know how to do it in a way that others are drawn to their style and personality. They have given themselves over to study of the word of God in such a way that they help others understand the real authority of the Bible.

Ned and Nellie Know it all - when you have ministry ideas, plans and strategies this couple can tell you immediately why they know it won't work. As a matter of fact you can hand out sound reading material that is widely accepted by the church, and even leading seminaries, and they will hand it back with an attitude and say "I already know it all." Their motto "there is a limit to how smart you can be but no limit to how dumb you can be."

Tom and Tessa Team Player - this couple really knows that there is no "I" in the word "team."
What a tremendous pleasure it is to have this couple work with leadership and never against it.
They are constantly asking how can we be part of the solution and not part of the problem. On Sunday morning you will find them in a corner with a couple encouraging them to participate and get involved in the church. They really understand how to support and build up the leadership not just in talking about it but actually doing it in the way they live!