If you are thinking about leaving a church

Mark Dever, who is the senior pastor for Capital Hill Baptist Church in Maryland, writes the following in his book "What is a healthy church?" I need to add my own personal comments to what Mark has written. As a former pastor over the last 4 years of a start up and now closed church I believe this is a critical article. Since our church closed officially in September of this year I have spent time in reflection especially in this area of those that left the church. Rarely were the steps listed in this article followed by those who left our church to attend another church in our city. It has provided me with a renewed passion to preach the word of God and maintain the cry of the Reformation "we will only believe and do what the Bible says."

Also even though Mark doesn't expand on the points in this article I think some common sense applications can be made from what he writes. For example in point #1 he suggests that you pray. Obviously that should happen but I think in a case where someone may be leaving the church they should pray with pastor and elder team. Especially in a small church where the ripple effect of a couple leaving can have a drastic impact on the entire body.

I want to go on record with other pastors and elders who may be in start up churches or thinking about church plants. These are key issues to work out up front with those in the church and not on the back end after it happens. Again my experience indicates that few if any of these steps were followed by those who decided to leave our church. As I approached on the back end (after they had made a decision to leave) I usually found them to be very defensive and unwilling to listen to Biblical counsel. Well with all that in mind let's read Pastor Mark's counsel on this subject.

Quick Tips: - If You’re Thinking about Leaving a church . . .

Before You Decide to Leave
1. Pray.

2. Let your current pastor know about your thinking before you move to
another church or make your decision to relocate to another city. Ask
for his counsel.

3. Weigh your motives. Is your desire to leave because of sinful, personal
conflict or disappointment? If it’s because of doctrinal reasons, are
these doctrinal issues significant?

4. Do everything within your power to reconcile any broken relationships.

5. Be sure to consider all the “evidences of grace” you’ve seen in the
church’s life—places where God’s work is evident. If you cannot see any
evidences of God’s grace, you might want to examine your own heart
once more (Matt. 7:3–5).

6. Be humble. Recognize you don’t have all the facts and assess people and
circumstances charitably (give them the benefit of the doubt).

If You Go
1. Don’t divide the body.

2. Take the utmost care not to sow discontent even among your closest
friends. Remember, you don’t want anything to hinder their growth in
grace in this church. Deny any desire to gossip (sometimes referred to
as “venting” or “saying how you feel”).

3. Pray for and bless the congregation and its leadership. Look for ways
of doing this practically.

4. If there has been hurt, then forgive—even as you have been forgiven.