Church Discipline

Do you believe in church discipline? I have posted a sample letter for your feedback. This is from one Christian who is confronting another Christian regarding a number of issues they have observed. At the conclusion of the letter I have asked you to fill out a poll on whether on not the person being confronted, if they will not listen, should they be subjected to church discipline? By the way how would you respond if a close friend, business associate, boss or Sunday School teacher were to approach you with this kind of letter?

Mr. Joe Smedley,

First I want to say that all that what follows is from a brother in Christ who loves you and wants to see you have the Spirit of God work fully in your life. I have no malice or hard feelings. I carry no anger or bitterness. In short I hold nothing in my heart against you. Having said that, I cannot get away from the Spirit of God’s prompting to reveal what is on my heart. Please take what I have to say in the spirit of love & concern for you personally, for your family & your ministry.

The reason this meeting has been delayed (since our last meeting) is because I have been resisting the Spirit’s prompting. I really hate this type of conversation. But the Lord is working on me also, to be bolder, to stand up and say what must be said.

I am going to mention many observations. These observations are mine, collected over our many years of association. However, these observations have been confirmed by many people that know both you & I and by some that know only you. I will not reveal whom I have talked with or what was said at this time. Please don’t ask.

Also, these observations are based on many experiences over many years. They are my observations based on my experiences. I will not give specific examples for them. They either ring true or they don’t. I simply will not engage in a discussion on whether an example supports the observation, whether I knew all the facts for that example or if the example was misinterpreted. Such discussions divert attention from the core truth of the observation. These are my observations, based on many years of experience, confirmed by much prayer, study & research.

My prayer is that you will receive each one of these observations in a spirit of humility from a brother who wants the best for you. Take them and prayerfully consider each one, asking the Spirit to reveal if there be any truth in them. Take a long, sincere look at your life and ministry. If there is only a kernel of truth in any of these, it is worth the effort to receive that truth and to allow the Spirit to begin the healing process.

These are the observations:

1. Joe Smedley is so forceful in his dealings that a disagreement or perceived lack of action brings either a complete rebuke delivered intensely or a complete severing of the relationship.

2. Joe Smedley is either completely unaware or he doesn’t care how his personal intensity affects others. He takes reactions to his agenda as either for him or against him. They don’t understand his “gift”.

3. Once Joe Smedley frames an issue, there is no other way to frame it. Woe to the person who tries.

4. Joe Smedleywill manipulate people, events and organizations to affect his vision of how things should be or he will have nothing to do with it.

5. There is no middle ground with Jim. You are either on one side or the other, good or bad, worthy or not, able or not.

6. Joe Smedley will mention or give credence to only those facts that support his conclusions.

7. Joe Smedley will not admit failure or being wrong. In my years of association with Joe Smedley I can only remember 1 time he completely admitted being wrong.

8. Joe Smedley will without hesitation forcefully point out a weakness or flaw in others but will not acknowledge a flaw in himself.

9. Joe Smedley has been quick to point out to others the need to get professional treatment but refuses to go himself. Even when he is showing some of the symptoms – such as outbursts of anger, compulsive behavior etc.

10. Joe Smedley's actions & words convey the attitude that his time is worth more than others.

11. Joe Smedley is uncomfortable in social situations (or any gathering) in which he is not in complete control and will not abide them.

12. Joe Smedley seems to be uncontrollably drawn to be critical of others, their work and persons, even when their efforts are for the cause of Christ. And he seems to be completely unaware that his words are like daggers in their hearts.

13. Joe Smedley strongly proclaims that God’s plan for the Christian is in the community of believers. We as Christians are to look to Christ and live our lives through and for each other (the “one anothers”). We are to, in Joe's words “get in each others lives”. Yet he has never, to my knowledge, confessed any weakness or offense or need of repentance to anyone – in the church, small group or out.